Hard Truths

This is something I hear often. “If she was scared of me, she wouldn’t yell.” “She gets in my face.” “She throws things.” “She’s the aggressive one.” “You don’t act like that if you’re afraid.” On the surface, it sounds logical. But fear does not always look like quiet compliance. And aggression does not always…

It’s one of the most common statements I hear from men. Sometimes it’s said with frustration. Sometimes with genuine confusion. Sometimes with a sense of injustice. “She yells too.” “She swears.” “She pushes my buttons.” “She’s controlling.” “She’s just as bad as me.” And I want to say something carefully here. It might feel true….