“I was drunk.” For many men, those three words feel like an explanation. Sometimes they are offered as an apology. Sometimes as a defence. Sometimes as a way of saying, that wasn’t really me. But alcohol explains less than many men think. It may lower inhibitions. It may intensify emotion. It may make someone louder, rougher,…
“It was just anger.”; Men say this in many different ways. Sometimes “I was frustrated.”; “I snapped.”; “I lost it.”; “I was under pressure.”; “I was overwhelmed.”; “I didn’t mean it.”; “I was just angry.” – regardless the underlying meaning is the same… Often, this story is used to explain behaviour after the damage has…
A lot of men hear the words men’s behaviour change counselling or domestic violence support and immediately think: “I don’t belong there.”, “I’m not that kind of man.”, “I’m not violent.” For many, that thought ends the conversation before it even begins. It is one of the most powerful stories men tell themselves, not always because they are trying…
Why Safety in Relationships Is About More Than Not Being Aggressive One of the more understandable, and often more defensive, things a man may say in relationships is this: “I’m not like her ex.” Sometimes what he means is: “I don’t yell.”; “I don’t threaten her.”; “I don’t control her finances.” ;“I’ve never hit her.”;…
There is a persistent idea many men carry, often without fully examining it: that being kind, gentle, emotionally steady, or considerate somehow makes a man less masculine. For some, the belief is blunt: If I’m too nice, people will walk over me. For others it shows up more subtly: Women say they want kindness, but…
“I’m Not Violent. I’d Never Hit a Woman.” – So Why Consider Men’s Behaviour Change Counselling? It is common for men to say, “I’m not violent. I would never hit a woman.” Sometimes they say it defensively. Sometimes with genuine confusion. Sometimes with relief, as though that one line settles the matter. And to be clear:…
When Fear Turns Into Aggression: Is There a Difference Between Men’s and Women’s Use of Violence when experiencing fear? Sometimes men say: “I wasn’t trying to control her. I panicked.” “I thought she was going to leave.” “I just lost it.” And sometimes women say similar things. So the question becomes: Is violence ever driven…
Many men who reach out for support say the same thing: “I just have an anger problem.” It sounds straightforward. It feels manageable. It gives the impression the solution is simple: learn to calm down. But in many cases, it’s not just anger. And understanding that difference matters. Anger Is an Emotion. Behaviour Is a…
Men die by suicide at far higher rates than women in Australia. This fact is often presented with urgency, sorrow, and alarm — as it should be. Behind every statistic is a man in pain, and behind every death is a ripple of grief that moves through families, workplaces, friendships, and communities. But if Australia…
This is something I hear often. “If she was scared of me, she wouldn’t yell.” “She gets in my face.” “She throws things.” “She’s the aggressive one.” “You don’t act like that if you’re afraid.” On the surface, it sounds logical. But fear does not always look like quiet compliance. And aggression does not always…
It’s one of the most common statements I hear from men. Sometimes it’s said with frustration, sometimes with genuine confusion, and Sometimes with a sense of injustice. “She yells too.” “She swears.” “She pushes my buttons.” “She’s controlling.” “She’s just as bad as me.” And I want to say something carefully here. It may feel…