“Not All Men” and the Work We Avoid “Not all men are abusive.” The statement is factually true. It is also often the wrong place to start. When women speak about fear, violence, or harm, they are rarely making a statistical claim about all men. They are describing a reality shaped by uncertainty, power imbalance, and risk…
This is something I hear often. “If she was scared of me, she wouldn’t yell.” “She gets in my face.” “She throws things.” “She’s the aggressive one.” “You don’t act like that if you’re afraid.” On the surface, it sounds logical. But fear does not always look like quiet compliance. And aggression does not always…
It’s one of the most common statements I hear from men. Sometimes it’s said with frustration. Sometimes with genuine confusion. Sometimes with a sense of injustice. “She yells too.” “She swears.” “She pushes my buttons.” “She’s controlling.” “She’s just as bad as me.” And I want to say something carefully here. It might feel true….
People sometimes ask why I chose to focus on Men’s Behaviour Change work. It isn’t the easiest field. It isn’t always comfortable. And it requires holding difficult conversations with clarity and steadiness. The answer is simple. Because power matters. And how men use power matters even more. Early Foundations Early in my professional formation, I…